


Ferdinand von Aegir

by FoolsTheyAre



Category: Cranberonpa, Drake & Josh, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Love Live! School Idol Project, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: :kaaba:, A - Freeform, Discord - Freeform, Elba, F/F, F/M, Futa, Gen, Grid is a retard, Hell, Joker (2019) - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Murder, Non-Binary Butch Lesbian Ingrid, Other, Racist Ingrid, Racist Language, Sex, Submissive Ferdinand, Suicide, Tragedy of Duscur (Fire Emblem), Trans Hubert von Vestra, Vore, big chungus - Freeform, felix is a furry in denial, fish demon, gamer - Freeform, i fucking hate the people of duscur oh my fucking god, i have sinned, im sorry daughter, lots of futa, n-word pass, sir would you show me the nearest wall, tomato, turg is a bottom, what the fuck is sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 22:16:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21483721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoolsTheyAre/pseuds/FoolsTheyAre
Summary: :kaaba:
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir & Hubert von Vestra, Flayn & Seteth (Fire Emblem), Owain & Camilla
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Ferdinand von Aegir

Ferdinand von Aegir

The following contains language and themes that some people may find to be offensive, if this is you, please go back to sucking your own cock while watching sissy hypno Jois and stop reading this, thank you  
What the fuck content warning???

h

"Welcome to McDonald's how can I help you today?" said Claude.

"CAN I HAVE BIG MAC?!?!", exclaimed Dedue.

“Nah.", replied the Nigger, who was a dumbass.

“I sense… Duscur…” Ingrid teleported behind the niggerman with a chainsaw.

“AW SHIT, NIGGA!!!”, screamed the Nigger, overwhelmed by his own terror.

"This is cool and all guys, but this is a McDonald's.", Claude said.

“That is fucking stupid, brown man.” Ingrid said, furiously.

Claude looked down at his skin tone and said nothing.

At that moment, the building felt an ominous aura befall it, as if Sothis was telling them that a tragedy was to come.

"Order number 420!", Claude shouted.

"DESPITE ONLY MAKING UP ONLY 13% PERCENT OF THE POPULATION OF FODLAN PEOPLE OF DUSCUR ACCOUNT FOR OVER 50% PERCENT OF ALL CRIME IN THE LAND OF FODLAN. THE AVERAGE DUSCUR IQ IS 89 WHICH IS LOWER THEN ANY OTHER MINORITY EVEN WITH IMPROVED ACCESS TO EDUCATION. PEOPLE OF DUSCUR DID NOT INVENT THE WHEEL BEFORE THE HOLY KINGDOM CAME TO FODLAN. IF ALL PEOPLE OF DUSCUR WERE REMOVED FROM FODLAN THE RATE OF VIOLENT CRIMES WOULD DROP BY 90%!!!" Ingrid screeched, like the average \pol\ browser.

“That is quite unneeded and rude!”, Dedue said, depressed as fuck.

Hubert approached the register, and asked for his order of: “Lady Edelgard’s shit, with a side of her piss.”

Claude stared, dumbfounded. "Excuse me, what the fuck?", he said, whilst extending his arms.

“Philosophy.”, Manuella said, in the corner. 

“Horses like to slide, horses like to stride. 40% of transgenders commit suicide.” -Marianne

“Holy shit, I hate black people!” - Lysithea (gamer)

“I have killed 4 people of Duscur with my sword today.” -Felix

Dimitri quietly proceeded to eat his McNuggies in the corner, like a pussy.

Claude contemplated quitting his job.

Suddenly, Flayn went up to the counter.   
"30,000 Filet-O-Fishes, please!"

“Who the fuck orders a Filet-O-Fish?! Are you a fucking retard?! I’m actually scared. Why would you order the worst fucking thing on this menu? 30,000 of them. That’s, like, 100 days worth of Filet-O-Fishes. What the actual fuck? I hate you more than Ingrid hates the people of Duscur.”, Claude shouted at the Girl.

Flayn stilled, her only response being “Fish.” She opened a palm, in an almost demanding way.

"Fuck it.", Claude said, as he entered the filets in. "That'll be $129,276, please."

Flayn pulled out a fat-ass, extra-large bullion from her pocket and smiled, “Thank you for the fish!”

"Claude, what the fuck?!", (censored to prevent cringe), the manager shouted.

“I hate the united states presidency system.”, Bernie said, as she sniped (censored to prevent cringe). "Our VA did better with me, anyways."

“Nico Nico Nii” Sex. What is sex? Will we find out? No. Anyway.

Umi shoots herself in the corner, as Nico screeches.  
“Nya, that’s what the bitch gets!” Rin is a furry. Why are we idols?  
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
Aaaaaaaaaaaₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐbig black nigga balls ₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐₐ

“I play Pokemon Go everyday.” Nignatz (fucking bitch) smiled, before getting stabbed by Felix’s big dick.

“This is why the concept of slavery should be brought back into our society.”, Lysithea said, staring at Dedue with violent intent.

Claude threw his hat on the floor. "Time to do what I did in Azure Moon, and lick feet, bitches." As he ran away, you could hear his scream, "にげるんだよ。"

“Now the asians too?? There are too many minorities in here for my liking. Shut this place down!” Lysithea stormed out at the mere idea that both Asian and black people were in the same place at once.

A legendary presence was felt, as a familiar voice asked, “Would any of you show me the nearest wall?”  
At the entrance of the fast food restaurant, a silhouette stood out. Edelgard trembled, and dropped her McRib. Fucking legend. Ordering the McRib.

Ferdinand von Aegir then proceeded to collide into the wall, in which he asked for.

“I do not consider the Chinese to be human.”, Lysithea shouted on her way out of the McDonalds.

“Boys are hot.” Linhardt existed, falling asleep. A faggot.

Marianne debated swallowing an entire bottle of pills with her Mix Tropical Berry by Sprite, the better drink. Fuck Sprite Cranberry. It’s like Cranberonpa. Fuck them.

Camilla's thot-ass plopped - like a hot, steaming turd - into McDonalds. She plopped her fat fucking melons on the desk, and before she could order Claude's dick with a side of balls, she was shot by Bernie, who shouted, "360 no-scope!", before spinning around and shooting her.

"Would you happen to have the Rick & Morty Szechuan sauce, in this particular establishment?", Merric enquired, a pleasant grin adorning his face.

After Claude's sudden departure, Seteth had been placed at the register to deal with this mess. The boomer replied, depressed, "We ran out."

“I am homophobic” admited gatekeeper “That is why I am only found standing outside. I am afraid of homes.”

Kronya enters the store and stabs Leonie "DIE   
LIKE THE DILF YOU WANTED TO DID! FUCK YOU WHORE"

a

"I've ERPed with a Leonie Twitter account before.", Gridovanni bragged.

Cat clapped (she also had the clap), ecstatic, "YAYYY ERP GOOD PLEASE DONT CALL ME HORNEY EXCEPT WHEN IWANT TO BE CALLED HORNY, i also like Transgender Hubert x Ferdinand :flushed:" Midget had then beat her to death, achieving the ultimate form of therapy.

As a stark contrast to the apparent depression of the middle-aged, minimum-wage worker, Merric's demeanour was overall a much more cheerful and content presence. After a moment of humming, he relayed his revised order to Seteth: "Well… I'd like a large Big Mac meal, without the lettuce, and a Coke with it. I'd also like a plain McFlurry, with no chocolate, if you'd please!" Again, he smiled.

Seteth whipped out his massive, throbbing, filthy, odourous, unwashed, uncircumcised cock, and stuck it into Flayn, in the hopes that she would stop raping Byleth for fish, as he believed that the stench and taste of his penis would provide enough fishiness to sate her appetite. She only raped Seteth back instead with her massive fish cock. (WHOLESOME!)

"Why are you poople into incest?", cried Midget, despite writing the incest part.

Shiro is a Nazi, and is oppressing me, but Edelgard is a filthy Communist. Shiro is a hot futa.

Funny notes

F  
A  
G

"Mom i'm not a furry, it's jus the hentai is top quality!!"-Midget said, in a poor defense to his mother as she beat him in the McDonald's bathroom.

H1RO recorded, shouting "WORLDSTAR", and then shit himself, le epic style

Tony Hawk nosegrinded on the people of Duscur, doing a sick kickflip immediately afterwards.

"Holy shit I hate the people of Duscur", said Ingrid and Edelgard, in unison, before they had sex(?) (Like is sex even real)

Mercedes proceeded to pull Ingrid away from Edelgard screeching, before getting on top of El (because Edelgard is a bottom)  
ew lesbians

Drake and Josh came the frick (no naughty words, you don’t wanna go on Santa’s naughty list) in and cut Edelgard's fat, frickin' foreskin open using their powersaw. "Hell yeah, Drake!", Josh Peck exclaimed, a sense of freedom and victory portrayed via the magnitude of the soul which his voice carried. "We ended the Empire, Josh!", Drake celebrated, giving Josh a crisp high-five.

"I want to have sexual intercourse with Lucina smash brothers"-my dog, 1812

Loqt had vigorous anal sex with Hilda fire emblem. ((a)

Hold on. I have something cool. Check it out: https://images.app.goo.gl/wzZkHLb5Y8B8ufFw8

Nigga Nigge Niggi Niggo Niggu Niggy SMOL NIGGO is a small niggo ((wholesome!)) (IN THE HOOD?)  
“Yo are these guys even legal??? No”  
What ethefuck the fbi is knocking on my door  
"What do you mean Sothis hentai isn't legal Mr. FBI agent? She's like 1,000 years old!"-Beamo said  
fortniteburger.net  
Ok google, search up child.corn  
beamo is a NONCE  
😳  
"WHO JIZZED IN MY MIKAN BODY PILLOW?-Cuckostal shrieked in horror whoreor 

I did, said Midget, before cumming and dying from lung cancer

I did. I am Gridovanni, and I came in your Mikan body pillow

I would have, but junko is hotter. cat said, before being horny for junko and being a fucking retard.

Cuckostal was furious after finding out his precious Mikan body pillow had the cum of 2 other men in it. His pillow had become a cheap whore, and Cuckostal killed himself after finding out about it ((SAD!))

Femdom fart porn. Femdom fart porn. Femdom fart porn. Chav noFemdom Fart porn. I am not chav i am grid I am grid i am grid and everyone knows that gridovanni likes NO THATS CHAVSVSCAVAfemdom and farts that's why my favourite character is Leonie no one's fav character is leione stop lying chav stopEW EE EE EEEEEWWWW I DOM'F BELIEVE YOU

Leonie looks like Chie.

Actually alex likes leonie a   
CRINGE! CRINGE!

Without hesitation, Mikan Tsumiki took a tight grip on the front of the waistband of Beamo's nerdy tighty-whities. Pulling them up with a distinct force and strength - unexpected of such a petite and seemingly weak girl - Mikan lifted Beamo off of the ground, his very unhealthy weight causing him to drop down even harder on his tighty-whities, crushing his peanut-sized testicles into a mush of pungent-smelling semen and blood, which only barely stained the white of his pants, because his balls were just that small. "Take it, you dumb, pathetic nerd!", she yelled, "Here's a spoiler! By the time I'm done with you, you're gonna be little more than my personal, little fatass of a human toilet, won't you? You'd like that, wouldn't you, you smelly, disgusting, little faggot”. “P-Please, no spoILSAAA” Beamo screamed, the soul of 100 babies coming out of his mouth. "Good. Now, keep that mouth *WIDE* open~...", Mikan smirked, sauntering over to the pathetic mess that was Beamo, and sitting on his face, pulling down her panties, and feeling the oily wetness of his face . "Ooh~... So greasy~..."

Chav wtf stan elba

Brandon unironically like the black eagles the most and should feel bad, "the Only good part about BE is the waifus, ferdinand and caspar", sHiro Lied what no wtf  
Fuck hubert lol fucking prick incel   
HOLY SHIT I HATE HUBERT  
Same  
i unironically like back eagles am i bad please i have done nothing wrong i am jut a tomato in this world of potato itS okay you're gay for edelgard you get a pass thank y ly  
"Blue lions kinda sex   
wtf is sexBlue lioNs has the best units game is Fucking wack" wolfy shouted on a manic episode   
Units, yes characters yes, H1ro retorted  
Crit chance: 85  
Blue lions be kinda bro with each other…   
No pollution was in the night sky, for this timeline had not been cursed with the horrible reality of carbon poison and factories. We sat on the slightly wet grass, holding each others hand like delicate cheese. Cheese was most important to us, it kept our suicide-driven relationship together. I felt so warm talking about cheese, even if it’s above the bitch horny for the devil. Why Edelgard. I write, as I marry Edelgard in my black eagle route. I married edelgard just to cuck hubert ngl  
Listen man I just want to suck on Edelgard titty smh

Seteth breaks down crying, after seeing all of this in his McDonald's   
"Oh fuck I forgot this was still in McDonalds" midget broke the 4th wall

Merric waited, his smile slightly declining. "M-my order, Sir Seteth…"

Uhh anywho, stan ur mOm

a  
a  
a  
a  
Dimitri uses Melted cheese to jack off

POG

"We've been here for over an hour and I still haven't ordered", cried Lucina  
"I swear I am going to thoron the entire line", Robin threatened.  
He then killed Cryil with thunder because Cyril is a bitch  
"Uncle no!" Lucina shouted. "We could have used him as a practice dummy!"  
"FUCK!", Robin exclaimed in anger.

Ophelia ran in, being sexually harassed by Soleil, as per usual, ran over a child, and beat Soleil to death. She had also cut the line somehow.   
"I'd like 2 number 9's, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, and for a drink, my mom's titty milk (she pointed to Camilla's fat tits)  
“Daughter, please don’t…”  
"Mom you are already dead, bernie killed you earlier. Shut up whore" (Ophelia shits in her mouth until she dies again)

Badlands Chungus burst the door of the restaurant wide open, walking in like a cowboy in saloon. Immediately, he used his immeasurable strength to pick up Ophelia in his hands, and vored her, in front of the entire queue. "Who's nex- UURRRRRRRRPPPPPP!!!", he burped, the gas smelling like digestive fluids and Ophelia.

"So, how much longer are we Going to stay here" Bernie said, hiding under a box

"Ooohh… I spy some delectable cardboard.", Badlands remarked. Picking up the box, he lifted it above himself, and poured its contents into his mouth - the contents being Bernadetta. After consuming Bernadetta whole, he belched once more, and rubbed his belly.

"I am Ferdinand von Aegir", said Ferdinand Von Aegir.  
"Yo listen up heres a story about a little Guy that lives in a blue Wor-" Eiffel65 began before Being killed by Ike's Up-b

"WELCOME TO DA TEM SHOP YE YUH  
!",Temmy said, Before Calv deepthroated her to death.

playing with father. playing with mother. playing with chia… STOP WRITING VORE CHAV WHAT IS WNTRONGN WITH YNYUOUUUU

Big Chungus walks in and says “you can’t out pizza the hut” then he proceeds to commit the armenian genocide((wholesome!!!)) BUT THE ARMENIAN GENOCIDE NEVER HAPPENED  
*what are you? A nerd?*

Chia vores you for 3hrs. 59 minutes (ASMR to help you sleep)

Meanwhile, Merric was still at the drivethrough, avoiding this mess, but also still waiting for Seteth to acknowledge his order. He had managed to steal himself drivethrough access, by claiming that his skateboard was a valid, four-wheeled vehicle.

ehyeye ophelia Ophelia is dead. She was vored by Badlands Chugs.lemme see dem small macs I   
DONT CARE ABOUT CORE I DO NT COUNT VORE CORE IS DISGUSTING CHAV I AM SO DISAPPIINTED WHY WOUKD YOU WRITE CORE I AM CRYING AS WE SPEAK I CSNNOT YYPE WTF IT IS VORE CHAV BANDLANDS CHUGS VIRE YOU APE IT IS STULL VORE  
It's not vore. It's Badlands Chugs non-fiction.  
Shiro and Wolfy's insistent monky noises terrorized tomato to the point of suicide (wholesome!)  
I COMMIT SUICIDE DUE TO THE MONKEY NOISES AND THIS DAMN VORE OLEASE LORD SAVE ME FROM THIS   
HELL PRA  
Chimp out

I am Grid. I cum to the sound of Jeralt's voice, every night. Purple text? Kinda quirky doe...😳

ISE ELBA SHUF SHUT UP cum SHUT SHUT UP I AM NOT A CHOMP UOUT  
Opbruh  
please releases me from prison i have done nothing

🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂️🚶🏾♂️Nigger text STAR THAT

Pin?!?

WHY DID I NOT GET HALL OF FAME??? FUCK YOU  
*Chia   
reacted with 

:soudisgusting:*

Ryan vomits  
Fuck niggers

Duscur  
LAdy edelgard tit  
fee  
CUm

there once was a man named gold roger who was king of the pirates, he had faith, power and wealth beyond your wildest dreams, before they hung him from the gallows these were the final words he said, ARGHH I HATE NIGGERS ARGGG ARGGGH SHIVER ME TIMBERS SHIVER ME NIGGERS ARGH  
Mmm

there once was a man named gold roger who was king of the pirates, he had faith, power and wealth beyond your wildest dreams, before they hung him from the gallows these were the final words he said, ARGHH I HATE NIGGERS ARGGG ARGGGH SHIVER ME TIMBERS SHIVER ME NIGGERS ARGH

Duscur??? Chimpout

there once was a man named gold roger who was king of the pirates, he had faith, power and wealth beyond your wildest dreams, before they hung him from the gallows these were the final words he said, ARGHH I HATE NIGGERS ARGGG ARGGGH SHIVER ME TIMBERS SHIVER ME NIGGERS ARGH  
up a lung, coughing. He ate it.  
@nigga#3020 where is the nearest wall? sex.  
So in conclusion, fuck the people of Duscur  
fuck it, google docs spam ping okay BRUHi will ban u from docaa

Wolfy is my least favorite character from Pyro Logo: Trio of Lands :DDDDD -Shiro (2019) BRUH  
:D  
This is not (wholesome!!) im shaking and crying i cannot stop trembling  
I have shaken you to the very core?  
Yes  
A  
a  
Fuck cranberonpa -an active cranberonpa member (2019)  
a

Are we putting this on Ao3? Shut the fuck up  
are we bro

No lol  
#TheyreFoolsGang   
Oo oo aa aa

So in conclusion, fuck the people of Duscur

fuck


End file.
